I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
