Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize