maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
