i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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