everyone is single if you try hard enough
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
