why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
