ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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