she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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