I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
