that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
4 words: hood of his car
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize