Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
