My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I've blown a few things in my day
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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