Someone shit on the floor
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
