ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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