I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
