MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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