they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
