apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
