Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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