More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Congratulations! We have a period
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
