My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
