But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm at about main and main street
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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