I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
