shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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