People with herpes should wear stickers.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize