"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
