the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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