im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
