my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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