Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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