I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
