I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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