You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
