i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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