I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
