do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
