so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
