We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize