Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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