it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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