I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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