I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
