either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
