I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
