He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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