Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
