yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
someone owes me an orgasm
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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