so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
