She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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