the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize