I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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