Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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