i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
