Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
