my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
