do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize