I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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