I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
