I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize