the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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