The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
