a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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