I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
