you guys were way drunker than both of me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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