you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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