smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
