genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
