Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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