I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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