We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
