it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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