her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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