He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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