have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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