No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
