Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
