That's when you crack a 10am beer
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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