I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
