in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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