I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
