Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
