i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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