Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
