If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He felt like a one man threesome
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
