Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
