I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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