called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
