you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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